Food Poisoning SUCKS!!!

Thursday morning, about 4 in the AM, I awoke suddenly to the catastrophic emergence of the desperate need to make it to the bathroom. If I had not made it to the bathroom in a quick and lively time there was going to be ,"God only knows" what kind of mess I was going to leave everywhere but where it should be. I jumped to my feet and found that it made my nausea even worse and I was more than a little dizzy and covered in a chilling sweat from head to toe.  The chills gripped me before I made it across the room to try to make it to the toilet to expunge myself of the ghastly unholy spew that I could feel churning up the back of my throat.
    Somehow I found myself with my head over the toilet, gagging and unable to relieve myself of whatever nasty poisons that have so offended my stomach....dry heaving
    Over and over and over, it felt like my entire body was being squeezed like a toothpaste tube to push out the angry spew that would not come forth. Convulsing again, I felt I was about to the opposite problem out the other end. I turned my position and grabbed the bathroom trashcan to try to catch whatever was going to happen from either end of me. Covered in a chilling wet sweat I convulse again and scream to my Wife, "Call 911" and I lose consciousness. 
   Next thing I know I'm surrounded by Firemen asking me if I can stand, "No, I can't, help me up", they said no and brought in a gurney.  Butt ass naked cuz my shorts I sleep in fell off at some point, they roll me out with a sheet over me and I wonder what the neighbors are thinking.
    Finally, once in the ambulance, the muscles that were so desperate to remove the waste from my body began to get results and I threw up a large amount of noxious excrement out of my mouth, burning my throat and backing up in my sinuses!
"I gotta Poop" I tell the guy, immediately he responded"don't poop, don't poop on my gurney", "I'll try", I say.  "Hey my Son is Fireman/EMT", "Where does he work?", "Up North" and then he was gone and the ambulance was moving, siren blaring on my way to Northridge emergency room.
    

I don't want to get carried away and make this into a whole page story but I was fucked and I mean FUCKED UP!!! I spent the night and they tested me with every test known to man and could find nothing. Because I was soooo fucking sick and I got so much better by the next day the Doctor surmised it had to be food poisoning.
   Today I am back home but every muscle in My body aches, especially those retching muscles that I didn't even know I had.  Every little cough or laugh just hurts like a motherfucker, like I cracked a rib from the inside out.
   The bottom line is that I ain't going nowhere today or tonight, Street chopper Magazine has a deal going and today was Mooneyes yearly open house BBQ thing, tonight is that premier in Orange that I was hoping to make it too but I'm just gonna sit here on my ass, play with computer, watch the boob tube and take some naps.
    Would have had some nice pics for you of these places but alas it is not to be.....so there ya go there, have a nice day and be careful what you eat....Laterdaze